|
|
White Leafed Oak |
At the far end of the hills is a village called White Leafed Oak, rumored to be the first settlement on the hills, I had visited this place many times in my teens. There was and old tree and a hollowed out bank there, this formed a small crude amphitheater, was here that I was led to with my knife. In the middle of the night I took my friend Dave to the little village on the back of my bike. Parking up we strolled across the fields to the old tree; my friend just kind of hung around allowing me to do whatever it was I had to. Being dark my senses we heightened and the drama increased. I could feel around the top of the hollow that there were figures standing there in a circle with me on the outside. I could smell leather and horses and hear the sounds as dismounted men steadied their charges, waiting for the right moment to speak. They had came from all sorts of places and were very old, it was like a tribal chiefs annual meeting. I was in the thick of it feeling like one of them, well I felt that I was there but not exactly one of them it was more like coming before a hearing. This was unfamiliar territory for me; I was used to guides in private places but not a whole load of men wearing armor and leather in the middle of a field waiting for something. I thought this is insane but I had started so I may as well finish, after all they are all in my head. As if to prove me wrong I felt a sudden gust of energy and I was aware that they were aware of me. The following conversation took place.
"So you have come to the round again my friend." A large deep throated man said.
"Yes I have." I said not really understanding and definitely doubting my sanity
"Have you done what we asked of you last year. I see you have bought your wife with you for protection Aysla, she always was a strong woman."
I thought who the hell is he talking about? As if he had read my mind he said " There beside you, your wife." Then I felt the energy standing there; it was Aiddrienne or at least part of her. She was wearing suede trousers and tunic, a hunting knife around her waist, long hair with the occasional braid in it flapping against high cheekbones standing proud against the wind. Oh no I thought I have lost it this time. Then she spoke to me but not in the familiar tones I had become accustom to.
"Answer the man, you must learn to speak your mind. We are only here because I brought you, now prove yourself worthy of entering the circle." I heard the words and heard the strong almost Germanic accent; this woman must have kudos to talk as she did, I could sense that she was respected. I did as I was told and answered not really knowing what I was going to say.
"I have traveled far since our last meeting and met my obligations. I have righted the wrongs I perpetrated, but I had to do that in my own time and in my way."
"We see that you have armed yourself and accepted the mantle that is yours." The large man replied. "You have started the journey. Thank you for coming. Your presence here shows our acknowledgement of you we will meet again." The woman by my side then took my hand and led me away saying "Come we have work to do." The energy faded and I was left standing on top of the round with Dave.
I stared at Dave and he stared back. I asked him if he had seen anything he replied that he had not but that he had felt a lot of energy floating around. Dave was not a fanciful man so I took his affirmation of the energy to be right. I walked slowly away he followed me at a slower pace. I could still feel the woman beside me, she said that I had done well to recover from my illness, strong as I was I had fallen from favor and that she had taken on my role. I felt that in the past I had done something wrong and been thrown out of the round and that it was only because of this womans reputation and strength that I was being allowed to come back even if I had not been totally accepted yet. I was in awe of this woman and she knew more than I did. Later meditating about it I felt as though I had gone there to finish something from a past life, to correct what I had foolishly done and it was not finished yet.
We rode back with my head full of the visions had I been dreaming or was it true. I explained to Dave what I had seen and felt, he was not astonished and was willing to believe what I said had been true. Here was my proof of existence of Aysla, but what of Yeswie, nothing had been mentioned about him. There had been this woman who I took to be Aysla but maybe I had it wrong. Could it be possible that I was Aysla? How could that be though, Morgan had said You are Yeswie and Aysla. Those words had been hard to write because I had been trying to block them so may be I had interfered with the flow had they had come out wrong. On re-reading the names Yeswie had not felt altogether correct, it was hollow. Still, it had come out for a reason so I would run with it for better or worse.
I did not mention the episode at White Leafed Oak to many people for fear of looking silly, but I could not erase the memory of how real it was, not in my head but actually real. I accepted it and tried to fathom out what it was I had done to expel myself from the round and what it was I had to do to be accepted again. Thoughts of hunting and country pursuits raised their head again so I decided to follow that line of inquiry. Not being in the position financially or practically to do this immediately I let it simmer in the background knowing that, if it was right something or someone would turn up.
The talk of changing realities and seeing myself as only a part of me, the rest being buried deep in the past and in other dimensions was a very powerful tool to understand the many levels on which we work. It was possible to consciously be a part of them from time to time. The most shocking part was accepting the fact that it was going on in the present and these events ran concurrently.
I got used to the idea of Aysla and Yeswie, day dreaming about the possibilities now and then but that was all, and I needed to validate and corroborate the experience before pushing the idea much further. I searched history books and legends to see if a clue might be forthcoming but no progress was made. The memories faded but they still nagged me now and then. Occasionally I would make the connection between what at happened at White Leafed Oak and situations that arose then promptly dismiss them as fantasy.
The first years of my recognition of a spiritual path were fraught with angst, rebellion and pain. High hopes would be dashed frequently, which sent me off into a rant about things not being fair, and why me speeches. Each time I would calm down eventually to learn another painful lesson. When I understood what had been going on a great weight would lift from my shoulders.
Four months after getting tuned in to the higher energies around me, I understood why my guide had to be a woman. I needed to be loved and love someone unconditionally on the physical plain without problems of jealousy, insecurity and all the other nasties that can haunt a relationship. I could run through all the emotional problems that I had with her, without fear of damaging anyone else or myself, a dry run so to speak. The automatic writing started to change when I met my partner; it was all distant and impersonal. Her writing had taken on its own style, this slowly changed back to my own handwriting, until eventually she wrote Goodbye. By now I was well aware of the way guides worked, and took it as the end of another chapter. But not the end of Aiddrienne, lurking in the back of my mind I could sense that someday she would return as the energy I knew so well. The intense contact with Aiddrienne allowed me to clear out a lot of emotional baggage that I had been carrying around for years. This meant that my life could continue along my chosen path freer and more open to different opportunities and philosophies that presented themselves. On different levels I was still working towards my goal, whatever it was. I did not mind, I knew that there was a reason for everything, however bazaar and contrived it would turn out to be.
Aiddrienne did change completely over the next eight years. For most of the time it did not really matter who I was talking to in spirit. I learnt that she had other names, each one had a persona of its own with different things for me to learn from her. She was never the same as my first encounters she had moved on as I had. Long periods would pass with no contact at all. If I was away from home though, that voice would whisper in my ear. "Hi, how you doing." It seemed that there was only contact when situations were off balance enough for her to break through my pre-occupation of getting on with my life.
You can now see that it doesnt matter where you start on the spiritual path you will be given whatever you need to sort out a problem or situation as long as you are open and honest with yourself, there is always freewill and freedom of choice. However situations will annoyingly present themselves time and time again until you sort them out and move on to the next lesson. Guides are very persistent in showing us what they want us to know, leaving out the things that they do not and providing practical help and situations to learn and absorb the right information at the right time.
© Phil Ironside